Jen just wrote this tribute to our first 10 years. Brief, but beautiful.
10 Years
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Tag Archives: Life
Black Friday
Well…today we had our own version of Black Friday…the day typically known as the biggest shopping day of the year in the U.S….we did spend money, but it wasn’t on gifts.
Our Black Friday contained us missing our train back to Holland by…1 minute. Then having to pay a nice sum to get on the next train, despite our tickets being fully exchangeable. Needless to say, we weren’t happy about this and what made matters worse was that our (hopefully still) good friend Nadine had booked tickets to ride up to Holland with us for a trip of her own. She made it. We didn’t. Not cool.
But I’m writing to talk about two stories that I saw on the news…both put the black in Black Friday quite well.
While the allure of good deals is always a temptation for me, I just am never dedicated enough to get up early and do the ‘first one in the doors’ game. Unlike some people at a Wal Mart in the U.S. who stormed the doors at 5 a.m. to be the first ones in and subsequently trampled an employee to death and injured four others. My mouth dropped open when reading about this…I knew consumerism was bad on the wallet and the soul, but never imagined that it could be this inhumane. Usually, our consumerism harms kids and workers thousands of miles away, not underneath our feet in the good ‘ol USofA. Here’s the article.
The second story is of two people who shot and killed each other in a Toys’R'Us in Palm Desert, California. Apparently, the two men were both carrying loaded weapons on their shopping spree and both happened to be willing to kill for the toy for their special little one. I don’t mean to make light of this at all, but this is just crazy. There are so many things wrong with this and I can’t get my mind around what would possess someone to carry a loaded gun to a toy store for kids. Or what would possess someone to shoot someone over a toy (allegedly). It’s a sad twist that they killed each other…You can read about this story here.
What a depressing post…I guess the way that I would apply this to myself is just to ask, “How do my self-centered pursuits add to the ‘black’ days of the world around me? How do I give way for the light within me to battle the darkness of consumerism and lust of junk that I carry? Am I living in a way that brings light minus shame to the world around me?” That’s all I got…I hope that my next post isn’t so…black.
Looking Inside My Window
Today I drove down to Paris with my friend Klaus. He was coming down for a few days and offered to let me tag along…and who can pass up a trip to Paris?
The last time I was here was in February, but while we were here then we didn’t even make it up to our the neighborhood we called home. Tonight I am staying at my friend Björn’s place and he lives really close to where we did. So, I walked up to my old neighborhood for the first time in 15 months.
To be honest, I felt like I was walking home. It was cold so I stopped to get a café at our old hang out Place Verte. The irony is that I wanted to watch people so bad that I sat outside! As I sat there, I could remember the times that Jen and I sat there when she was pregnant, the times that we sat there when Maisie was just days old, the times that we sat there with friends, and the time that we saw a near knife fight!
But the hardest part on my walk was going to our old apartment…This is the last place that we called home. From the street, I could see in the windows. I could see the shades that I hung up on the doors…aparently the people who live there now like them too. I could see the mirror that I stood in front of when I sang Maisie to sleep as a newborn. I could imagine exactly how the place looked while we were there. It was if I was standing outside of my own home…except it hasn’t been our home in while.
I had a hard time walking away from looking inside my window. Seeing that place reminded me of the memories that I have of our lives there. The laughter, the tears, the first days of Maisie’s life, the parties, the life we had in that place, and the ways in which Jen and I came together in difficult times. There were people hanging out in the living room and I could easily imagine the times that we hung out with our friends in that same space. We had a lot of conversations there that shaped who I am now. Both challenging and encouraging.
I didn’t want to walk away from remembering these times…they were so rich with life…but I think I was starting to look creepy standing outside and staring into this building!
As I walked away I prayed that God would help my mind go back here and cherish all the life we had there. And I heard God say, “If you think that was good, wait until you see what’s next.”
Getting Taller
Slavery + Children = Global Reality
Here is a trailer for the Call + Response Film…
I love that quote, “Justice is what love looks like in public!” I need to put that idea up to 1 John and let God go to work on my heart.
Jen and I have some dear friends who do work in Cambodia named Don and Bridget. They’ve helped begin a ministry called AIM for Asia that is actively doing something about this issue on the front lines. Check out what they do and be a part of the solution…
My Other Wife
Jen went blond again today. It’s been 5 years since she was blond. So when she walks by I have to remind myself that she got her hair colored and that it’s not another woman in my house or posing as my wife! But she looks beautiful (as always) and I’m sooooo, seriously…sooooooo happy she like her hair cut! Here is a cute picture I just have to share!
As a Kid…and a whole lot more that got added in as I started writing
In my last post…a lot of people chimed in…I’m really glad about that and thanks for all of you who contributed…not all of us are coming from the same place or ending at the same place, but that’s ok and the dialogue will hopefully land us closer to Jesus in the end.
So, Jeremy made a comment about life when we were younger that got me thinking about my life as a kid. I wanted to share some of my thoughts on that…
I think that every generation thinks two things: 1. This is the evilist of all generations. And 2. If you are a follower of Jesus, that this world is sooo bad that He’s coming back in our time. Seriously, people from every generation since Christ have thought this…each one more certain than the last.
I think in our time we have more mediums for bad things to happen, but in an upside down world like ours, the potential for sin is just as great 1000 years ago as it is today. The reality is that we have always had to be wise, engaged, and involved in our kids lives. Sheltering our kids from the world is an illusion. Our power/witness/influence in this world won’t come from how well we shelter our kids from what’s not good, right, and true. It will come through teaching our kids how to find and choose Jesus while they navigate the pain in this world that is sure to come. Jesus never once promises us physical safety, physical protection, or physical comfort…it’s our ability to find these spiritual realities in an upside down physical world that will be our true sign to others that He is with us and there is a difference in our souls. Simply trying to avoid pain or what is ugly in this world (which may just be the opportunity to discern right from wrong) will not get us the results we hope for.
So…now on to what I intended to write…
When I was living in Indiana we lived on a street with some rough kids…they smoked, drank, listened to Beasie Boys, mooned my mom, talked about sex, had pornography, watched Nighmare on Elm Street, fought, cussed, flipped off my dad, and stole. And these are my memories from when I was 9. Sure, I got into some trouble with these guys…like throwing a log through a window and breaking into an unlocked mobile home to drink their 7-up. All growing up I went to public school with ‘all the sinners’…heard a bunch of stuff that kids shouldn’t be talking about, saw a bunch of things that I shouldn’t have seen…said and did a bunch of things I probably shouldn’t have said or did! Through all of this I think my parents did a bunch of things really well…What they didn’t do was try and remove me from the environment I was in. Looking back, I can see how they helped me navigate where I was and the issues I was facing…
1. They communicated to me very clearly what was right and wrong about what I was seeing.
2. They instilled in me a sense of self and encouraged me to be myself and to be an example, not a follow the crowd.
3. They stayed engaged in my world.
4. They knew my friends and welcomed them into our world.
5. They helped remind me that Jesus was more important to ‘impress’ than my friends.
Now, I screwed this up a lot…especially in college. But they gave me the tools to figure things out on my own instead of trying to manage my ‘life-experience’. I greatly appreciate them for this! (among other things!)
So, back to the ideas in my head…My hope in talking about this is that we’ll all wrestle with how our families will be the kingdom of God in our worlds. If we only change the places we go, the things we watch, the things we read, and miss out on figuring out how to love, trust, give grace, forgive, and be free, then we’ve missed the point. But if we do learn to trust Jesus, love others, forgive ourselves and others, be rich with grace and forgiveness, and experience the freedom we have in Jesus while living in this world, then we truly give honor to God and express gratitude for what He has done in and for us.
Ok…this post is long enough…
Ok…one more thing: Why does God keep us on this earth with it being as messed up as it is? What can we learn about His trust in us and purpose for us through this?
7 Years…
Today is Jen and I’s seven year anniversary! They say that the hardest years of marriage are the first, seventh, and twentieth. So far, we are on par with the first two! Most of the time the seventh is rough because people have had kids and this changes everything…but our seventh was difficult for so many other things. Here is the short list that kept us on edge for lucky year number 7: We lived out of suitcases for all but 8 weeks of the year. We both went through significant identity (re)formation periods. We we’re both fighting for different things for a while. We both questioned what we (and the other) were doing with our lives. Our finances were going downhill. Blah Blah Blah…This year sucked in so many ways…but in a number of other ways, it was the best year of our lives.
At our conference the other week we went to a marriage seminar by our psychologist friends Mike and Mary, who work with Christian Associates. One of the things that they said was the strongest factors in lasting marriages is friendship. I can honestly say to all 6 of you who read my blog that Jen is my best-friend. Our friendship was the core of what kept us talking, trusting, playing, and laughing together during a really hard year. We’re certainly not perfect (our environment is not….well…lacking emotion or opinion), but I can always count on the fact that Jen and I are for each other and we are both willing to sacrifice for the other when the chips are down. Somehow, by the grace of God, we have come out of this year stronger, more together, more honest, more of a team, more gracious, and more proud of each other than when we started.
We are entering year 8 of our marriage in another crazy season of life. Living out of suitcases. On the move. And I’m sure lots more learning to do. I certainly hope that we don’t have to repeat a year like this past one, but even if we did, I’d be going through it with my best friend, knowing that somehow and in someway, if I just trusted, God would bring us closer together. And to be closer to my wife, to know her more, to trust her more, to encourage her more…is worth anything to me. So, who knows how different life will be a year from now? Who knows what challenges we’ll face? Who knows what twits and turns will be on our road? I know that God has gifted me with the chance to do it all with my best friend….
Here’s to seven years…they’ve gone by so fast, but I can barely imagine life before them or without them…and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I could write on and on about this, but I won’t for two reasons. One: I’m tired and need to sleep. Two: I don’t think that I could ever really communicate the depth of gratitude I have for my wife. I’m not that good of a writer! So I’ll stop now….go to bed…and wake up in the morning with my best friend to get on with the journey of life…