Urban Idealist

Today is Jen and I’s seven year anniversary! They say that the hardest years of marriage are the first, seventh, and twentieth. So far, we are on par with the first two! Most of the time the seventh is rough because people have had kids and this changes everything…but our seventh was difficult for so many other things. Here is the short list that kept us on edge for lucky year number 7: We lived out of suitcases for all but 8 weeks of the year. We both went through significant identity (re)formation periods. We we’re both fighting for different things for a while. We both questioned what we (and the other) were doing with our lives. Our finances were going downhill. Blah Blah Blah…This year sucked in so many ways…but in a number of other ways, it was the best year of our lives. 

At our conference the other week we went to a marriage seminar by our psychologist friends Mike and Mary, who work with Christian Associates. One of the things that they said was the strongest factors in lasting marriages is friendship. I can honestly say to all 6 of you who read my blog that Jen is my best-friend. Our friendship was the core of what kept us talking, trusting, playing, and laughing together during a really hard year. We’re certainly not perfect (our environment is not….well…lacking emotion or opinion), but I can always count on the fact that Jen and I are for each other and we are both willing to sacrifice for the other when the chips are down. Somehow, by the grace of God, we have come out of this year stronger, more together, more honest, more of a team, more gracious, and more proud of each other than when we started. 

We are entering year 8 of our marriage in another crazy season of life. Living out of suitcases. On the move. And I’m sure lots more learning to do. I certainly hope that we don’t have to repeat a year like this past one, but even if we did, I’d be going through it with my best friend, knowing that somehow and in someway, if I just trusted, God would bring us closer together. And to be closer to my wife, to know her more, to trust her more, to encourage her more…is worth anything to me. So, who knows how different life will be a year from now? Who knows what challenges we’ll face? Who knows what twits and turns will be on our road? I know that God has gifted me with the chance to do it all with my best friend….

Here’s to seven years…they’ve gone by so fast, but I can barely imagine life before them or without them…and wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I could write on and on about this, but I won’t for two reasons. One: I’m tired and need to sleep. Two: I don’t think that I could ever really communicate the depth of gratitude I have for my wife. I’m not that good of a writer! So I’ll stop now….go to bed…and wake up in the morning with my best friend to get on with the journey of life…