One word spoken with a pure heart is worth thousands spoken in a state of spiritual turmoil. Time given to inner renewal is never wasted. God is not in a hurry. Henri Nouwen 

 I shared this quote in a recent letter to the many people who support and follow our ministry….but it’s worth putting here too. When I read this it immediately jumped out at me. I have always put such a premium on producing and getting things done. Like a typical American, I viewed time with no tangible results given as wasted time. Everything that I did had to be incredibly intentional, because the one thing that you can’t get back is time. And time is money. And there’s no time like the present. And time keeps on ticking. And time waits for no man. And so on and so on. 

 But have you ever wondered what it would be like to intentionally set aside time to accomplish nothing? To have no tangible results? To only allow yourself to be…To only allow yourself to be. To ONLY allow yourself to be. When we can’t cover up ourselves with producing we are left pretty exposed. This season of life for me has been exposing. It has exposed that I get really uncomfortable when I am not doing something that all can see as productive. Or at least doing something that makes me feel productive. It’s been really hard for me to just give this time to inner renewal. What does that even mean? Can’t we quantify that so that I can know that I am not wasting my time?

 But honestly, this time of inner renewal is the most productive thing that I have ever done. My calendar is nearly empty. I only have one weekly appointment. I don’t rush from place to place networking and meeting with people. This may all change in a few weeks (part of me is really looking forward to a change…I can only sit with me for so long), but for now I am learning the immense value in waiting on God. The book of Psalms talks a lot about waiting on God and I’ve discovered that there is only one way to learn how to do that…wait. And when you think you’ve waited enough, God has more waiting to fill your time. And even after that God will allow us to wait some more. Because God does not have the same addiction to tasks and production as we do. He is not in a hurry to have us learn lessons quickly so we can check them off the list and move on to further internal development. (Wouldn’t it be nice though?) I would even argue that the best lessons we learn are the ones that take time…and then cycle through on a deeper level later in life. And then cycle through again when our hair is gone or gray. We Christians say the phrase, “In God’s timing…” a lot, but I would be much more comfortable with that if God were an overachieving, restless American like me! 

 Time is on our side…Well, time is on God’s side. And He is on ours. So for now, I get to fidget in my empty calendar and let God continue to expose me from the inside out. I hate it with a passion and would love to jump back into production mode to make myself (and maybe some others) happy! But I am convinced that this season is set aside by God to teach me something, something at a core identity level that I could not otherwise learn in a season where I am frantic. Pray that I learn to be still, wait, and trust.