Urban Idealist

I realized today that I haven’t posted on here in a while…It’s certainly not because there’s not much going on in our lives or because I don’t have anything to say…I’ve probably had too much on my mind and too much to say to put anything worth reading on here.

Here’s what fresh on the top of my mind…

A book was recommended to me called “Leadership and Self-Deception” and at first was like, “I’m not self-decieved…I know my weakness.” This should be proof in-and-of-itself that I needed to read a book with this title.

I have to be honest about this. Within pages I was already learning A LOT about how I am self-decieved…not to mention how I treat others as objects and not people, betray myself, justify my own perceptions, and how all of this leads me to be emotionally distorted in my view of my world.

Over the last few weeks, and even months, I’ve been doing a lot of processing about my life. After reading this book I realized that most of my processing has been based upon the hidden assumptions that the way I see the world is the way that it really is. How I view people is how they really are. How I see ideas as they really are…but all along I was certainly seeing thing more out of focus than I thought was. This is what self-deception does.

I can’t even begin to describe the freedom that learning this has brought. Sadness over how ‘grey’ the created world in my head was and how I began to view people that I love. But now I am free to see things more for how they really are…and grateful for the grace that is given so that I can start over every day.

This realization is helping me answer some of the larger questions that I’ve wondering about for a while. Questions about leadership, influence, personal loneliness, being misunderstood, not being able to communicate the way I used to, and some others. This has been helping see ways where I have even began to see Jesus’ teachings in ways that fit with my views…Which has lead me to being further from the real Jesus, even though I thought that I wasn’t, and His good intentions in my life. This is the type of thing that self-deception can do over time.

There is a radical reorientation going on in my head…it makes me feel dizzy sometimes, but I know that in the end I’ll be planted more firmly on the ground.

If this post has made you think at any time “I should read this book.” Do yourself a favor and listen to yourself!