No pictures of my little bathroom in this one. No talk of weather not being what I want. In fact there will be no negative talk at all in this post. And even more in fact there won’t be any more negative talk in my life for at least the next month! I live my life with passion…and that passion can quickly carry me a direction that I don’t want to be going. So, Jen and I have decided on a ‘no-complaint’ fast for a month. Why? Complaining is a culture. It starts with thought, next a sentence, next a conversation, and then before you know it: a culture.
The behind the scenes of this idea is the fact that God is walking us through a bit of a valley. I think that our call and our passion is being dug up in this time. The last thing that I want is to (1) not ever leave the valley because our attitudes are terrible and (2) not learn what we can learn from this time.
So…if you are curious as to Jen’s perspective on this check out her blog…there is a link to the article if you scroll down. But all in all the days after my last post have been filled with more hope, more desire, more passion (in the right direction…that will be my next post), and a better picture of our calling. I hope that the no-complaining thing will keep our eyes on the right stuff…we’ll see in a month!
Today is one of those days…I stayed up late last night to watch the Cavaliers/Pistons game…just to see the Cavaliers lose. I woke up this morning and my tonsils were like golf balls. Coughing. Sneezing…just not feeling good at all…When we woke up the sun was out and it looked like it was actually going to be a nice ’spring’ day in Paris. Ten minutes later it started raining…then thunder…then more rain…and now it’s sunny out again, but with a strong chance of more rain later I’m sure.
I felt like taking a nice hot shower. So I got into our ‘bathtub’. I really felt like taking a bath, but our bathtub is a mockery to all bathtubs and the idea of actually being submerged in this this is a joke (see pictures below). As I was sitting there (yes, sitting…it has a seat which I have come to actually enjoy) I was thinking, “I hate this shower…I will attempt to take a bath.” So I plugged up the bottom and as the water rose around my ankles I was thinking of all the places I’d rather be: the driving range at Lincoln Hills (all you can hit balls for 10 dollars)…Peet’s coffee (amazing coffee accentuated by nice grey tile and tribal art)…driving down 65 with my sunroof open (unless it’s over 100 degrees..that would call for AC). It’s weird living cross culturally and going through this. There are things that I love here, but sometimes my memories of the past are all pictures taken in golden light…It’s not that I love things here less, it’s just that memories seem perfect.
I guess life can be like the weather is today…some minutes it’s beautiful out and the next it’s rainy and grey…rain in May when it’s nearly summer.
Our team has been meditating a little on James 1:2-5. Here is a patchwork of a couple of translations I like:
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t have wisdom for what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.
Who would have thought that a miniscule shower would make us more mature?..I hope God does.
PS…This is actually the second time writing this post as the first time it got erased…fits into the theme of the day nicely, huh?
This past Wednesday Jen and I went to have the first ultra-sound done…another step in the journey of this pregnancy…I mention the journey because I want to go back to where this one started for me…well not started, but close to it…
The morning that we were leaving for our second round of Field Orientation in Holland Jen says to me, “I think that you need to go downstairs (to our pharmacy) and get a pregnancy test.” I was thinking…we are nearly broke right now (tight month due to special expenses) and we can’t afford that! But I scrapped together 16€ of change and went down to get them. After she took the test the result came back very quickly! She was pregnant! After she got in the shower I sat in our red little chair holding the test. I realized that my hands were shaking! I was both excited and nervous.
For the next 8 or so weeks we were hit head on with sickness…not fun. I was wondering what the heck was happening to my normally active wife! She never knew what she wanted to eat and even when she did decide her body would change her mind within minutes! It was unlike I had ever seen her.
So on Wednesday we had our ultra sound. The first image on the screen made my heart start beating faster…The sickness, the tiredness, the test…it was all real. Up until this point this life had been visually represented by a plus sign, but now it was real and moving all around in front of me. We could see the spinal chord, the head, the arms and legs, and then…the heart. When I saw it’s little heart fluttering away I immediately had tears in my eyes. It beat so fast! I immediately knew that I loved this little life…it was unlike anything else I had ever experienced…and I think that this is still just the beginning of the journey…
It’s been days since I’ve just posted a ‘news’ article. Sometimes I go into a mode when I only want to write about deeper stuff, but I’m over it for the moment. So I’ll just talk about life today.
We live on a boulevard that’s lined with trees. For weeks they have had buds on them, but they are finally blooming and we can see green out of our window. I have another layer of protection between my neighbors seeing me walk around the house in my underwear too…I think that’s good for both them and me.
Today Jen and I went to do errands…they were baby errands. Both of the doctors offices that we had to go to share an address with us on our boulevard so it wasn’t a far walk. The first office was to get some blood work done…and a urine test. Jen did great with the blood…handled it like a champ. But she failed miserably with the other one. She has a disease called ‘peeshyitis’….some people called ‘cantpeeifthereisanotherlivingbeinginafivemileradiusitus’…but peeshyitis is more common for obvious reasons. We ended up just leaving with an empty jar that she is to fill up chez notre.
Then we went to the doctors office where we are going to be having our first ultra-sound. There are moments when the reality of being a dad and having a baby with Jen are more acute than others. This was one of those moments. I stood there realizing that a week from today at 3:30 I am going to be seeing pictures of MY child for the first time! On the inside…I was ecstatic! I am really looking forward to the appointment.
After this we grabbed a bite to eat and went to read in the park. We were sitting by the basketball court and in between games I decided to go shoot around with the guys who were playing. Unbeknownst to me, I was picked to play with one of the teams. Keep in mind two things…First, it was the first kind of hot day we’ve had this spring. Second, I was wearing my thick Levi’s, a polo shirt, and flat bottomed vintage sneakers. After two games my jeans were sticking to my legs like spandex, my feet were upset with me, and my shirt was soaked. The cool thing is that I had fun, played ok, and made some new friends. I’ll be playing again with them tomorrow…sans the jeans, mais plus shorts. I asked Jen if she thought that it would be ok if I played without my shirt on, but being a good friend, she advised against it.
I’ll let you know how the game goes tomorrow. Later
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