I’ll get to the point…this past weekend was terrible for me for more than a few reasons. I don’t want to go into all of those and make this post into a small novel. Instead I want to share the one that cuts the deepest. To put is simply, I had a crisis of trust. Trust in God, trust in friends, trust in the intentions of others, trust that God is at work around us…Needless to say that when we lose trust like this the world can look really bleak.
I wonder why it is that I lose trust…and that it fluctuates? I believe (for me) that if there is one thing that I need (I don’t use need lightly) to retain in my life it is my ability to trust. When we choose (yes, it’s a choice) not to trust in God’s good intentions we are ignoring the promises of God, the reality that we live in as followers of Jesus. When we ignore the promises of God, life on earth can start to look too human. We see our problems from a human perspective. We feel alone…like God isn’t around. Why do I choose not to trust? The last thing that I need to feel is to feel as though God weren’t here. I need Him here!…Well, I guess that I need to trust that He’s here. My lack of trust certainly doesn’t make God go away…He’s not the one shifting around…I think that’s me.
Spending some time reflecting with Jen about the reality of things helped me see that the way that I was seeing things wasn’t true. Isn’t that essence of being able to trust God? Seeing what’s true about him? When old demons come up and my head gets filled with lies, I have to go back to what is true. When I see the truth about God’s love and the love of others, then trust is easy. When Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” it wasn’t just a clever saying, his truth is the path to trust, and trust is a the only way to live.
Wow Justin…I say ‘wow’ because this is an area that I have been struggling with this past week as well (and there are others in my life that have struggled as well). You gave me the book “Truefaced” and I have been studying it with a friend. The content splays one open in this area of trust… The enemy haunts us with exclamations of our worthlessness…he points out that our sin holds us from godly friendships, and even worse, from God. The lies that torment are our undoing. I struggle with trust. Trust that God has me…loves me…takes pleasure in me, warts and all. Thanks for the book. Although the truthful process is painful, I’m coming to a realization of how little I travel the path of trust. In a strange way, your post on this issue is a comfort. Love ya…